Toadette the Farting Archivist
by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus
Summary: Toadette's farting proves to be extremely useful for her archiving sesson, as it helps keep her entertained and collected!
1. Chapter 1

The Toad Brigade was doing nothing but watching Archivist Toadette farting as they were all stuck on top of a rooftop in New Donk City, with Blue Toad looking for his glasses while Yellow Toad was snoozing as usual. Green Toad was also there because he just wanted to be in a fungi team. The reason why a certain red colored captain and a purple colored mailman weren't present is because both of them were stranded in the middle of nowhere, but the brigade could easily afford to lose some members due to there being Toads everywhere, so eh. They're not what we're here for... which is Toadette farting.

"Ooh... golly do I love feeling these toots coming out!" Toadette exclaimed as she was fanning the air from her different poots, giggling as she was bending over. "Gosh, I still can't believe there was a time long ago when I didn't like fart gas!"

"Yeah, what a surprise that is..." Yellow Toad mumbled as he was trying to go back to sleep, only for Toadette's flatulence to wake him up again.

"But I don't get it, though. Why would you need gas to help you archive stuff?" Blue Toad asked as he then stepped on his glasses, wincing as he slapped his forehead.

"Because it prevents me from getting bored, silly!" Toadette responded after a very sloppy fart emerged from her, causing her to blush as she smiled. "Without poots like that, I would be snoozing away like that yellow dopey fatass over here!"

"Well, you do have a point..." Green Toad stated as he was glancing between Toadette's gassy emissions and the New Donkers walking down the streets of New Donk, rubbing his hands together.

"Thanks, greenie!" Toadette exclaimed as she then felt her stomach grumble, snapping her fingers as she knew what that meant. "Ooh! I'm getting hungry! My rumbling tummy wants something really yummy! Let's go get some chow!"

"Yeah but what?" Blue Toad commented as he was attempting to fix up his glasses.

"Knowing Toadette, it'll probably be beans or something." Green Toad interjected with a smirk as he pulled out a map.

"Beans makes me fart and sleepy..." Yellow Toad mumbled as he got up on his two feet, scratching his butt.

Toadette clapped her hands in excitement as she was glad that the Toad trio came to an agreement, with the fart filled female continuously farting all while this was happening, pulling out a mushroom shaped phone from her pink mushroom cap as she dialed it up. Blue Toad was still failing to get his broken glasses on his face properly while Green Toad took some glances at his map, with Yellow Toad attempting to go right back to snoozing.

"Hey Toadiko, can you do me a solid and come here?" Toadette said to her phone as she nodded her head, winking. "Oh, that's easy. After all, this is fantasy!"

Proving the point that she was making, Toadette clenched her hands as she let out an enormous bassy fart that shook the entire city, being so wind breaking that even her pink pigtails were blowing, with Toadiko emerging from Toadette's smelly diaper. Toadiko coughed as she began fanning the air, having a rotten stink on her due to Toadette's fart of gas destruction.

"PU... you really gotta watch what you eat!" Toadiko coughed as she stumbled out of the diaper, landing flat on her face as she shook her head.

"Wow... does my butt really stink that much?" Toadette laughed as she was blushing in both embarrassment and pride.

"It does, and I would recommend a doctor..." Toadiko blurted as she cleared her throat, standing on her two feet. "Anyway, what stupid nonsense did you summon me for, anyway?"

"Oh, we just want to get food." Green Toad stated calmly as he placed away his map, wrapping his arms around the back of his green spotted mushroom cap.

"Wait, that's the entire reason you summoned me?" Toadiko commented as she tilted her head.

Blue Toad nodded as he moved his hands around. "Yeah... we just wanted to see if you could lead us somewhere."

"Somewhere comfy, I hope..." Yellow Toad mumbled as he fell on his back and began snoozing.

Toadiko turned to Toadette while placing her hands on her hips. "Well, are you willing to take charge?"

"You bet your ass! Now follow me while I pass gas!" Toadette exclaimed as she pulled out a red balloon and farted several stinky gas blasts into it, stuffing the four Toads into it as she then farted off the rooftop while holding onto the smelly balloon stuffed with Toads.


	2. Chapter 2

The Toad Brigade were still following the farting Archivist Toadette, who was using her musical butt to lead the way through the Fossil Falls, with the enemies staying away from them due to Toadette's stinky tunes. A snoozing Tyrannosaurus woke up from sniffing up the fart gas Toadette let out, growling as he woke up, to see the Toads gathered on the grassy ledge nearby, slowly rising up.

"Toadette, I feel like this is a rather bad idea..." Blue Toad stated as he dropped his glasses.

Toadette huffed as she fanned the air with her right hand, but mainly to scoff her fellow Toads as opposed to whirling away her rotten eggy flatulence. "Come on! I adventure just as much as the captain! Why don't you guys feel comfortable around me!"

"Because every time you and the captain poop your pants, we end up getting into all sorts of shit, literally." Green Toad pointed out as he had a map of the cascade kingdom.

Toadette turned to Toadiko as she moved her hands around. "Is it really that troubling?"

"Well from what I hear and smell... probably." Toadiko responded as she placed her hands on her hips. "How do we even sniff up your farts? None of us have noses."

"Yet we can snore..." Yellow Toad remarked as he was snoozing about, lying on the grass.

Toadette was about to go on another rant when she let out a squeaky fart in fright, trembling in fright of the T-Rex that was looming over them. "Eep! Run away!"  
The other Toads turned around to see the Tyrannosaurus Rex roaring at them, flailing their arms as they scurried in different directions. The yellow Toad was not so lucky as he got munched by the carnivorous dinosaur, with Toadette farting all over the place as her smelly fungi farts caused the grass to wilt, which in turn caused the beautiful falls to lose their luster.

"Oh what I would do for a fresh diaper...!" Toadette yelped as she got so carried away from being scared that she went right over the ledge, screaming and farting her head off as she tumbled down through the white mist surrounding the cliff sides.


End file.
